Burgers, blessings, immigration, and please don't send me to jail

I wanted a real burger so I went to this food stall at tamiya that  grills their burgers. Just as my food arrives a.lady stops in front of me. And places down a card that says blessings for the new year or something like that. She then says "blessing" does what looks like a Buddhist bow then stares at me. Well I figure she is waiting for money so I give her 10 pesos or about 11 cents. I didn't want to curse the new year so I gave money.
The burger was OK still that same burger taste that burgers here have. When I'm back on USA soil I want a real burger. Damn the cholesterol and full speed ahead.
When you arrive here you get 30 days Visa free, well my 30 days are up Saturday 2 January. So I went had got money then went and had passport photos made then headed to immigration in the mall. Guess what they are closed. The sign on the door says they will be closed from 1 to 3 January. Well its 30 December which isn't in the dates closed range but the lady selling treats by there says they are closed for the holidays. So on January the third I'm a illegal alien. I will go to immigration on Monday and pay the fine of about 10 dollars. I hope I'm not going to be on cops Philippines.

Back from the dead

Spent the last day and a half feeling like crap. I think I ate some bad tuna. You see they don't have all those silly health regulations and inspections to worry about. Most everything is un-regulated. People die on the job and their families are compensated a couple hundred dollars if that. It's the enduring spirit of the Filipino people I admire. Life is very hard here but they keep going on and smiling. We Americans are spoiled. Every body ,especially teenagers, need to spend time in a third world country.
I've attached the photo of the trike/jeepney terminal at Tamiya. I usually go catch a trike on the street. They wait until they are full so I don't feel like waiting at the terminal. A trike holds 7 including driver but sometimes two more will ride on the back.Plus what a $ 1.42 breakfast looks like.

Christmas eve

Christmas eve is a very big thing here. Families get together and eat, drink, and videoke. It sounded like a war zone here last night. Fireworks booming till 3 am and videoke blurring from multiple places at full blast at the same time. Videoke is the same as karaoke but with a video in the background that came from Korea and has nothing to do with the song.
Alot of people can't afford fireworks so they create some kind of exploding thing. Reminds me of a potato gun with no potato (thank god). Went to the road a little after dark and saw most guys carrying large bottles of beer so I said to myself " get your skinny white butt back to the apartment". I didn't want to play gangrape the American.
It's Christmas afternoon here. Went to Tamiya earlier and spent a couple of hours chilling and people watching. Took some pictures of it.
At lunch the girl thought I was very handsome and loved my nose. She looked about 22 so its weird having girls that young complimenting me. Let's calculate how many in the last ten years girls below the age of 30 have said nice things like that. The square root of pi times the number of brain cells I have times the amount of air in outer space and the answer is zero till today. Don't tell April or I may be have to blog tied to the bed and unable to get out.

Ladyboys and a massage

Yesterday evening I was heading to go get dinner and grabbed a trike. When I got in I thought I was sitting next to a girl. When she started to sing I knew my thought process was all wrong. It's a dude dressed like a girl. I'm not trying to judge its just throwing me off my game when you see a pretty girl who has the beans and frank.
Ate at a restaurant called organge Brutus. Got the cheeseburger meal with a coke for about $ 1.70. Sometimes it's great to be in the Philippines.
After that I wanted to go to the spa for a massage .I decided to pay extra for the Swedish massage with oil. OK OK I'm worth it. It cost me $ 5.30 for the hour long massage. OK I felt like a dumb hick. They immediately changed my flip-flops for a pair of theirs. The lady pointed to the wash basin but I was scared to move so she said "feet in" then she washed my feet and took me to a dark room and left me. A few minutes later the girl who be massaging me came in and said sir please remove some clothes,I felt like a  dumb hick. Great massage then at end she asked me if I wanted happy. If you don't know what happy is just ask any sailor who has been to the Orient. I said no because I didn't want to get a trip that keeps on giving long after I left.
Remember men we are all in this together.

King Lapu-lapu and hamburgers

We went to the Mactan shrine yesterday. It commemorates King Lapu-lapu killing Magellan. I think they made a mistake killing Magellan because two years later the Spanish came back and conquered them. They should have done what they do to foreigners today. Show them around the island, charge them twice the price then what's it's worth, send them to Mango ave. Where they can get a disease and urinate painfully the rest of their life. That's the Christian thing to do.
Last night I was hungry and wanted to try Angel's hamburgers as its a short walk away. While I'm there two girls kept trying to talk to me but their English was broken up. A few minutes later a truck pulls up and a guy gets out as the girls are leaving. He asks me if I think they are pretty and that I should follow them. It's at that time that I think about my emergency exit strategy. Luckily after a few minutes of me saying I'm not interested them leave and I immediately leave  towards my apartment. As a note Angels hamburgers wasn't very good. It's a processed meat Patty the kind you get in the 88 cent TV dinners. And that's insulting the cheap TV dinners.
Good luck finding toilet paper in public, luckily there are toilet paper machines at Tamiya ( the local shopping place not to far away). 2 cents but I don't know how many square you get.
In the one photo I'm eating a sweet Mango that we bought by the statue of King Lapu-lapu.

Dating, old bull eats young grass

Something that you see alot here is a very big age difference between the foreigner and the filipina. You will see guys in their 70's and even 80's with a girl 20 years old. I'm dating someone 15 years younger than me and that is a very small age gap here. The foreigner isn't very good looking or with a great body nope usually the opposite. I decided I couldn't date someone younger than my kids. I know most people will call the girl a gold digger and with some that may be right but I think it's about stability and knowing they will be taken care of while the guy is alive and maybe afterwards. Remember judge not lest you lose your Viagra.

Doctor , the mall, and walking back

I went to the doctor this morning and made an appointment for 3 pm. Since it was only 10:30 I decided to go to the mall and look around. It's a smaller mall so I decided to count foreigners for the day. I saw 15 foreigners throughout the whole day. It's my white count ( no offense intended). While counting people I got a text saying the doctor is in surgery and wont clinic till Wednesday. The problem isn't nothing serious and is a problem I've been seeing a doctor for in USA.
I decided to walk back. It's about 1 1/2 miles so distance isn't a problem. The guerrilla warfare while walking makes it a challenge. The metal roofs along the way would hit me in the forehead if I didn't duck. Everybody assumes the person walking will get out of the way and forces you to be on your toes. They don't have much of city planning and such nonsense here so people may build right to the street. The dogs roam around and are small and skinny. You would be small and skinny too if a family of 12 decided to cook you. Thank god there is no more cannibals because they would saute my big white butt.

Breakfast, Jollibees, and a chair

I was running low on groceries so I recommended Jollibees. Jollibees is the Filipino version of McDonald's. Took a trike to there. Breakfast here is normally an egg with some rice. I also got it with the beef paddie. While eating the chair I was seating in broke and I fell to the floor. Everybody was looking to see what was happening. I has alright but April was mad about the chair and had to speak with the manager about it. Sounds like someone I know but I won't say Elaine's name.

I'm still getting use to the stares. I guess I'm a little bit of a oddity here but I'm not the only foreigner here. I see 10 to 12 everyday. Little kids want to be my friend. OK they want pesos. A peso is about 2 cents back home but you must learn a peso attitude to live cheap here.
Including photos of the dispensary and church at CarCar.

CarCar and Argao

Just got back from a two day explore. We left my apartment and it took 3 1/2 hours to go the 32 miles to CarCar our first stop. To get there we grabbed a trike to the Mactan terminal then got on a v-hire ( a v-hire is a one ton 12 passenger van with 19 people stuffed in). We got out of the v-hire at SM mall then grabbed a taxi to the bus terminal. Finally got a bus to CarCar. CarCar was OK. Old American era hospital dispensary. Next to it is a church that Jesus himself must have help build. A lady street vendor wouldn't leave us alone and made April a little mad. CarCar is known for their shoes so you can guess what she wants to do next. They were more like sandals then shoes but 30 minutes later April is done shopping for shoes, thank you Jesus. We grab a bus heading south and stop at Argao. Did I say bus I meant supermarket. They let vendors get on and off to sell their wares. Bribing the driver and agent.
Argao is what I pictured the Philippines to be like. Palm trees and beaches. 70,000 people live there so no traffic, score another one for Jesus. Another church built by the disciples. Went to a beach resort and got a room on the beach for $ 18.00 a night. Went swimming and enjoyed clear water and no crowds. After dark we went back to the beach to listen to the waves. We sang and acted goofy.
Woke up and learnt an important lesson. Don't leave food out. The cookies were covered in ants yucky. A morning swim and we're off to the nature park. 15 minutes and we're done with the nature park. 10 cents to enter. Time to head back. 4 hours plus and voila we're back.

Bathrooms

My apartment has what is called a wet CR or comfort room. It's wet because the shower and toilet are all one room. When you shower everything gets wet. There is no hot water so the water is a little cool.
Public bathrooms are hard to find and don't have toilet seats. You must hover over and bring your own toilet paper or use tore up newspaper.
I must plan your CR breaks or learn hover skills.

Foreigners

Yesterday I learned about the good and bad in the Philippines. I was at the mall and needed some money. There was a long line waiting for the ATM. They all wanted me to go to the head of the line. Well 3 minutes later and I'm leaving the mall and the trike driver wanted to charge me double. As they say " welcome to the Philippines ".
The trike is the main transportation here on the island. A trike is a motorcycle of about 125 cc with a covered sidecar. Me and April barely fit sitting side by side but somehow they find ways to put 8 or 9 people on it sometimes.
You will see a family of four all riding one motorcycle. The baby will be sitting on the gas tank. The lane markings are only a suggestion as they will ride a couple lanes and pass whenever they want.
The island doesn't have many jeepney but a smaller version called a multicab. Now I don't fit in a regular size jeepney so I'm not going to fit in the smaller.
When you go to the mall it looks alot like USA. McDonald's, Wendy's, Sbarro are all here. I hope to start taking more photos so everybody can see what I'm talking about.

Peace.
WillyinPhilippines